Feel

It has been some time since I have last experienced this,
give or take some years,

but now that I feel this in my body it reminds me of how amazing I feel.
I cannot explain the feeling, but I will try.
It is like feeling ice just barely touching the surface of my skin, ice cold.
It is feeling the sharp pain as I move around, yet it is fairly unpainful in all.
Sometimes it is getting nearly twelve hours of rest but feeling tired by the time the clock strikes noon.
Fairly similar to being sick, not eating, getting well, and then that starved feeling you get, but it isn't the starved feeling I speak of, it is the effects of feeling starved but not being. Quite difference feeling and being are.
You see, at first I though I would never feel this amazing feeling again, but of course, bien, I influence myself to feel this way.
Indeed as I write with this ink right now, I feel it, zoning out sounds and distractions so that I can temporarily breathe.
Soon this weight I carry upon my back will be gone, I will no longer feel this pain, it will die.
As for me, I will strive without the constant knife penetrating into my skin as if I were some butchers freshly deliver stock.
I will continue with this life as I get ready to pass to the next, shall I stay here long or leave early, I do not know. But one thing I do know completely, is that now I can really achieve it, I can do it, I can actually feel it.